pokemon-go-catch-em-all-from-your-couch

I saw a picture earlier showing this guy who lost a lot of weight by playing Pokemon GO. One of those before and after snapshots showing the effects of drugs and alcohol came across my timeline and I flipped.

Pokemon Go Effects compared to drugs and alcohol
Image I seen on my Instagram Timeline

Seriously what is the likelihood of this actually happening? Yes, I need to walk 10km to hatch that egg and for someone like me (5’7 180lbs) that is a good amount of exercise. But what stops me from hopping in an uber pool and paying $5 to get two of these eggs hatched?

Yea the benefits of hatching an Aerodactyl and a Geodude is a great feat on any given Sunday, but I’m concerned with the premature safety of users playing Pokemon Go. Yes, there’s a warning telling you to be aware of your surroundings, but that’s not the ill minded safety I’m worried about. DISCLAIMER: Infiltrating a government army base in an effort to catch a legendary Articuno is not safe. You will be sniped.

 

The Solution

So after you’ve had your fill of late night geeking with other nerds in Bompton, you start to wonder, there has to be a more optimal way to catch all of those Pokemon. So you use the limited research skills you learned in high school to search Google and discover the easiest and most efficient way to catch Pokemon without leaving the safety and comfort of your home.

People nowadays are becoming amateur hackers and learning how to change their locations using VPNs (Virtual Private Networks). If you’re wondering what a VPN does, basically it masks your true IP address and changes the IP number to that of a server you are accessing. It’s hard to explain, but right now as I am writing this post I am in Beijing. If I were to access a location-based site (such as Expedia) it will show that I am in Los Angeles. Cali baby! People in China often use VPNs to get around the Great Firewall which blocks sites like Facebook and Twitter, as well as access to apps like Pokemon GO. But back to my point.

Using this technology, I am able to show myself in a location that I am not physically in. I can be riding a bus and catch a wild Growlithe that is chilling outside a guy’s house in San Jose!

 

To Sum It Up

People nowadays have no reason to leave their homes, when they can access other servers and catch Pokemon that may not be in their area. Who knows, maybe your best friend who by heart knows your Wifi password is virtually in your backyard building a gym.

This is definitely something worth considering next time you’re too lazy to hatch that next egg. Just don’t end up like the owner of Kickass Torrents.

I’m sorry to inform my readers, but I also have never played Pokemon GO so disregard any random conspiracy theories.

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