Just as a disclaimer, I was Turnt Up as of the writing of this article. Please disregard any typos.

The Story

Just spent a weekend with my girlfriend’s parents and I’m already wasted. Her uncles tried to test my beer drinking skills and “they wasn’t ready.” -Kevin Hart voice. They had us go through about 14 beers before they finally realised Wu-Tang wasn’t the crew to fuck with. Not only did I outlast them, I basically left a lasting impression that I’m a young and suffering alcoholic.
My girl says this is a good thing, but in my culture, I think this is a bad one. All I have to say is: fuck the police and rep Tsingdao beer all day. I downed those mid-sized glasses like they were water. Traditional Chinese water. Let me explain how I prepared for this situation.


The Preparation

Tsingdao beer is delicious
Had about 14 of these Chinese favorites.

My girl told me I was going to drink with her fam on Saturday, so when I arrived at her hometown on Wednesday, I already had a strategy in place. She told me her uncles were heavy drinkers and I would have to keep up with them in order to earn their respect. So my nerdiness intruded and convinced me to prepare for this event.I must’ve drAnk about 3 water bottles on Thursday and 4 on Friday. I knew if my blood was well diluted they would never stand a chance.

So after basically peeing every 39 minutes I was ready to take on this feat. I was given beer after beer after beer. Downing them back to back without showing a hint of fear. Her uncles were left wondering if Americans were legit alcoholics. I must’ve went through 10 before my first bathroom break and I was already a champ in their eyes.  God bless that pee in a stall.


The Moral of the Story

It’s polite not to refuse a drink in Asian culture, so when the time comes, be prepared. I am a lightweight and get hangovers from drinking wine spritzers. But with a little H20 in my system, I can hang with most of the boys from Ireland.

Let me know if this has ever happened to you. Leave a comment below.